thoughts of a thinker
“Cogito, ergo sum (I think, therefore I am).” –Rene Descarteswelcome back to WordPress!
I am welcoming back myself to WordPress tonight.
I have completely forgotten about this blog and my other WordPress blog and all my other blogs in the blogosphere. I’ve been too busy with my life. I finally got over the sorry things that I experienced in my first job that got me writing these two blogs in the first place. Over the years, I immersed myself in my new job, which I have grown to love so much.
It seems that I am a natural with people, and I have been very successful in building my team and in mentoring and coaching my agents. I have made friends with my agents and with my coworkers, and my job was my passion and my pride. However, everything will go bad at some point. So from a wonderful account that each of us took pride in, we began sliding down fast, and before we knew it, we were all in the pits.
Anyhow, to make the long story short, I feel like I am in a toxic relationship with my job. I love it so much because I felt loved and needed and I was good at it, but it’s no longer doing me any good. I am not growing. So I have decided to leave.
My decision to leave was somehow rash, and totally contrary to my past self who established this blog a few years back. I still think, but I no longer over think. Over the years, I have learned to make hard and fast decisions and to live with the consequences right after.
Anyway, what prompted me to reopen my WordPress blog was the new job that’s awaiting me. So I write again.
this is becoming a hate blog
i don’t want this to become a hate blog. i just noticed that my last two posts that were published a month apart where emitting a lot of negativity.
i wanna spread the love. Love. Peace. Unity.
Let’s concentrate on the picture in my header. That’s a peaceful picture. I took that about three years ago at the boulevard at the boulevard. That’s actually a fisherman. I like how the picture came out. My camera wasn’t that hi-tech, but I feel that the picture leaps from the page. Doesn’t it?
Ah peace…spread the peace…
i hate her to bits
is it possible to “hate someone to bits”?
i don’t really know, but this hyperbolic statement just seems so right when i talk about one particular bitch. her royal bitchiness…i’ll never forget you until my dying day.
i’m being mean and evil again. i know i say the meanest things, but well, words cannot describe how much i loathe that idiot of a primadonna.
bitch! bitch! bitch! grrrrr…
however, when i think hard about it, i think that whatever she did brought me good. she’s like judas escariot. somehow, what she (and her conniving cohorts) did was what you could call “necessary evil”…her blunder brought me my salvation. but still, she’s still a modern-day Judas E.
burn in hell.
crossing the line and stepping on toes
some people just don’t know where to stop. they just don’t know where to draw the line. i think that knowing where your boundaries are just takes some common sense and basic good manners. if you don’t know when and if you’ve already crossed the line, it’s either you’re dumb or you have no idea at all about basic courtesy or both. and i have no sympathy for you.
sorry. if you are not sensitive to the feelings of people around you, then i think you deserve the same.
i’m pretty brutal. i know.
revisiting my 2009 wishlist
2009 is already halfway through. tomorrow’s going to be the first day of the seventh month, so it’s the perfect time for me to check how much of my 2009 wishlist i have already fulfilled.
1) Buy a Laptop – done; using it now
2) Buy camera phone/digital camera – done; using it now
3) Earn in oDesk (wahahah) – done; it’s not much, but at least i got two jobs done
4) Start my mini-business – done; however, my accessories business is on and off depending on my creative mood
5) Go to Bohol, Corregidor, Somilon, Boracay, and Siquijor (whichever comes first) for a super vacation! – STILL NEED TO WORK ON THIS
6) Go to Disneyland HK or Japan or Singapore (hmmm…) – STILL NEED TO WORK ON THIS
7) Get promoted (hahaha!) – this isn’t a possibility at this time
LOSE WEIGHT (10 punds off would make me happy) – managed to start muay thai and started losing some pounds, BUT our lessons had to stop due to a change in venue, but hopefully we’ll be resuming soon
9) Have a happy and healthy life for myself and my loved ones and everyone else – happy yes, healthy emotionally, physically i’d like to say yes
10) That there be peace on earth – and i’ll start with myself…i’ll spread the love in my own little way – spreading the love all right, except to some despicable characters (pretty brutal, eh?)
That’s about 3 1/2 things I still need to work on. Not bad!
“if only you were…”
early in the morning, somebody was kissing my ass in the office. i didn’t know if he was drunk or he really meant it, but i thanked him for the compliment.
he said i was looking good…blooming…and if i wasn’t chubby, he was sure a lot of guys would be running after me.
whatever! (i rolled my eyes…)
i told him that they can’t run after me because for a fat girl, i run fast.
i forgot to tell him that if the guy can’t see past my love handles, well i really wouldn’t care at all.
if by some stroke of luck (and well, sheer determination), i manage to trim down this year, and people—those people who never even bothered to take a second look at me when i was still fat—begin to notice me and start making passes at me, well i’m sorry but i wouldn’t waste a single second on any of them. there’s more to me than my flabby arms and rotund face. if they weren’t able to see “my essence” beneath the full exterior, then they’re not worthy of my time or attention.
that remark was double-edged: it praised me (that i was still pretty despite being fat), but it insulted me at the same time (if only i were sexier…). and to think that person said i had a strong personality! well then, shouldn’t i be able to grab people’s attention because of my personality?
duh! somebody loves me already despite the love handles. i’m pretty sure of that. 
2008: the year that was
i look back at 2008 with quite a lot of regret: i’ve had so many wasted chances that i could never have again. in 2008, i had dreamed up a lot of things that i have not achieved, mainly because of my own lack of determination and comfort with mediocrity.
it was so different 10 years ago, way back in 1998. then, i was a kick-ass go-getter. then, it didn’t matter if what i wanted seemed out of this world. no matter what, i worked hard for it and got it. now that i’m older, it seems as if i’ve lost my love to win and excel and get what i want. it’s too early to get tired of life and to get tired of fighting for things i want to happen with me.
through the years, i think i have lost my zest for living. i feel like an “old” young woman…happy with the way things are when they could be other ways…happy in my little nook, in my little shell.
but i realize that this year i’ve learned the meaning of acceptance to fault. this is how things are; deal with it and get on with your life.
2009: i want to rev things up for me, go to places i wanna go, be someone i wanna be. time to get out of my comfort zone. i’m getting older, and it’s gonna be now or never.
one thing off my wishlist
i got myself a laptop!
YEHEY!
now, i’ve got nine things left to fulfill for my 2009 wishlist.
lost
please, please help me find what i lost…and please keep me from losing anything else…
Prayer for Lost Objects
Saint Anthony, when you prayed your stolen book of prayers was given back to you.
Pray now for all of us who have lost things precious and dear.
Pray for all who have lost faith, hope or the friendship of God.
Pray for us who have lost friends or relatives by death.
Pray for all who have lost peace of mind or spirit.
Pray that we may be given new hope, new faith, new love.
Pray that lost things, needful and helpful to us, may be returned to our keeping.
Or, if we must continue in our loss, pray that we may be given Christ’s comfort and peace. Amen.
my 2009 wishlist
let’s see if anything comes true…by god’s grace and through my own efforts
1) Buy a Laptop
2) Buy camera phone/digital camera
3) Earn in oDesk (wahahah)
4) Start my mini-business
5) Go to Bohol, Corregidor, Somilon, Boracay, and Siquijor (whichever comes first) for a super vacation!
6) Go to Disneyland HK or Japan or Singapore (hmmm…)
7) Get promoted (hahaha!)
8) LOSE WEIGHT (10 punds off would make me happy)
9) Have a happy and healthy life for myself and my loved ones and everyone else
10) That there be peace on earth – and i’ll start with myself…i’ll spread the love in my own little way
