thoughts of a thinker

“Cogito, ergo sum (I think, therefore I am).” –Rene Descartes

Archive for dreams

Dreams change

Five years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined myself to be a stay-at-home wife running a small cake business. No, that was totally out of my plan. Five years ago, I wanted to be a really big player in the corporate world. I envisioned myself to be one of those power dressing and fierce women walking in 3-inch stilettos into a boardroom filled with people who needed to listen to what I have to say. My spanking new car would be waiting for me in the parking lot and I’d be raking in big bucks every payday. Yes, that was how I wished myself to be five years ago.

But dreams change, either by your own wishes or because it has been brought about by certain circumstances in your life that you cannot change. You lie adrift in a sea of dreams, and you need to readjust your sails so that you can go and discover uncharted territories that you can conquer.

The decision to quit a job I enjoyed has been tough. A lot of factors were considered, a lot of sleepless nights spent, and all of my fingers have been crossed. New priorities were there for me to consider: marriage, starting a family, my health. A changing environment and culture in the workplace also prompted me to reassess my goals in life. At that time I thought “I love my job, but am I still enjoying it? Am I still productive? Can I contribute something better to the workplace?” I admit, my previous job was demanding, and it exhausted me. I wanted solutions to some pressing matters, but the fact that I was not heard and no one was interested in what I had to suggest wore me out. It frustrated me. I realized that I was no longer needed by the organization, and it was time to move on.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the Pro’s and Con’s of quitting. If I quit, I’d have more time to spend with my would-be husband, plus it would be healthier for me. It would be easier for me to concentrate on taking care of my family instead of thinking about other people’s problems. It would be easier for me to conceive (or so I thought). On the other hand, I would be letting go of a sure source of income. I would be isolated from the world. I would spend my days alone in front of a computer. That was one of the hardest considerations since I am an extrovert.

In the end, I made the decision to quit. I thought it would be my chance to do something new. I wanted to start a business, no matter how small. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity. Plus quality time with my busy husband-to-be was a priority.

Do I regret anything? No. I am glad I made the jump. It was hard to organize my finances the first few months, but honestly I am doing better now than I ever did when I still had a job. If I stayed on, I would be tied to just one source of income, which I realize is not a good thing considering how hard times are right now. Besides, I am enjoying what I currently do. I am building on the beginning of what could be a successful business five to ten years from now. I still haven’t conceived a child, but I am able to pay full attention to my husband. I maybe alone in the house, but there’s always the Internet to keep me connected with my friends. I am happy.

Dreams change. I used to dream of being at the very top of the corporate ladder. Now I dream of being my own boss and running my own business. I dream of being able to make amazing cakes that blow people’s minds. I dream of having my creations featured in a magazine of a talk show. I dream of joining Ultimate Cake Off. I dream that my crafting blog would have a lot of followers.

Dreams change. One day, you just reach a point in your life where you realize that the dreams you have are not the right ones for you. So you have to let them go, and you have to build a new dream. And the journey to that new dream is exciting and challenging but very fulfilling for you.